Not recommended.
There’s nothing wrong with the people I lived with this past fall. In fact, I couldn’t have lived with a more agreeable bunch than those five–they were quiet, kept to themselves, didn’t intrude in my affairs.
No, it’s not how these people interact with me that matters. It’s what these people bring to the table–something I don’t have. A companion. Everytime I come back home, I see lovers cuddling on the floor, arguing about the mundane, cooking and eating and talking. Six people in a house becomes four, because two pairs seem conjoined at the hip. If I had my own girlfriend, I probably wouldn’t mind this situation as much, but being single, it becomes unbearable. My room becomes my sanctuary.
And in my fever and sicknesses of the past fall, I realized that these situations made me very anxious. Very angry. Very tired. Very lonely.
It made me realize how far I have to go in my life. It’s not a comfortable place to be, constantly being reminded of what you don’t have, of what you long to have. Being with people when you’re young is so important, because the older you get, the fewer chances you will get to meet others. And couples don’t provide that ideal situation to meet others.
And that’s not because it’s new to me, but because I’ve experienced it before. For eighteen years. The love seems more innocent and interested here, but it fills me with a distinct sadness, that I couldn’t have gotten that sort of love and understanding from my parents, rather than the unconscious sniping and whining I dealt with through adolescence. I never gained that sort of understanding that would have pushed me toward meeting other people, instead placing myself in situations that isolated me further.
Living with couples has definitely been part of the latter. That’s why I had to change things up.
Unless you are a social recluse who despises contact with other human beings, here’s my advice: The only couple you should ever want to live with should be your own.
What living situations have you learned to avoid?
(NOTE: I wrote this a few weeks ago, but I decided to wait until I found a new place to have it posted out. Just to avoid any misjudged ill-will.)
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